Relationship

有些惊人的能力真是复制不来
比如不停歇的讲嗷嗷几个钟头电话..
真是嗷嗷节棍阿

阿阿阿

有时候有太多要说，不知道从何说起
于是 反而简单几句
沉积着的想念 

那么长
又那么短

风大云浓

何处是归程

I was trying to find the reason why I was so panic today.
until then, i found that we hadn't talked today as we used to talking everyday for an hour at least 
I realize that what's the reason 

尝试找出我今天很话痨的症结，直到刚刚洗澡的时候，突然意识到今天我们没有聊天，而平常我们每天都聊上至少一个小时的。

and then this come into my mind, it's not fair for you to listen all my bastard craps and smooth my mood regardless how rude I am, which might cause emotion shock to you as well.
and I don even know it consciously.

今天没有跟你聊天，结果就是我至少找了不下三人来唠叨我的破事..虽然原因不止如此。
但我居然都没有意识到和你没有聊天会有相关。

如果真的是这样的话，我得考虑下我解决焦虑的途径了，如果我这样依赖你的话

If that's truly the case, I should really revalue the approach i use to solve my panic.
 if  the only path is to lean on you, how could i ever be independant?

I admit I m just a human, i m not flawless. i make mistakes as all the others do.
but you are the who bear me from being who i am, although this thought might actually count a misattribution *错误归因, which do raise the level of love for you.
I do believe the most effective way to solve the character neurosis is bearing all irrational behaviours with a non-judgemental mind, try understanding and be patient, which do requires great sacrifice love and intelligence at the same time.
 
i could totally understand why i get into the trouble like this.
still curious about why some ppl are more sensitive than the others, despite the genetic factor, what really do the big harm to the behaviour pattern?

为什么有些人就比别的一些人敏感？ 除了基因的缘故，还有什么样的后天原因导致了过分敏感的行为机制呢？

 

 

 

NO where close to home

wanna go shopping
shopping shopping

trip canceled, even the shopping plan! Ugh~

basically i should not blame anyone
but the truth that the plan woud have not fallen into place..
i don like the feeling.

"I will go on my own." words speaks.
can't even hide my disppointment.
what a letdown!

I couldn't miss home anymore.

babe, u would never let me down, will u?

maybe the more time i got, just means the more time for me to think negative.

 

上次来更新的时候是18130 现在是18211 仿佛也不过是2-3天
说实话 我完全不相信这个点击数..  虽然觉得数据从0到现在，至少按日子算，去除我每天点一下的分量，除了不小心点进来的，
不太可能造成这许多的..
不相信.. 继续不相信
就算知道很可能统计的是页面点击数，而不是IP.. 
不过很无聊的写我那些奥灶的事情，很坏的情绪的东西...会有人要看么... 除了我自个喋喋不休回来反复查看，审阅自己的傻瓜

然而 我那些破情绪还是继续作祟的 我依然是不够坚强的

最近在读一些心理学方面的书，希望试图能好好解释自己的阴霭.. 好不容易觉得看得有些眉目
今天就遭了一趟..还有些许不能平静..恩 也许只是我还在看分析篇，还没有看到解决篇吧
或者 到底存在不存在解决篇这个东西呢 

这本书叫做 《我们时代的神经症人格》- 卡伦 霍妮

无论旁人如何对待
事情多么奥灶

也要忘掉烦恼 享受生活~
milk@ coffee

近日很大风，但终于又不冷了
不知道这一次夏天会停留多久？

清扫房间，打理下该做的事情..
不要被情绪带坏~
乖 快乐是要自己找的~

 It doesn't make any sense why I experience such a bd day today.

：（ 近日不宜财务+契约

It's fairy interesting that sometimes the longer time i m with you, the harder i find to talk funny with you.
after several trials of pulling out an answer "why" , the picture formed.

Is that just the strategy btw us? I can't help doubting tha.

Sometimes I could talk to some stranger delightfully and happily, we use "topic"s, although nowadays my ability of finding topic , or say  the desire for communication has been falling along with aging.
Whcih is pretty common, I assume.

From your point of view, u are a guy who accepts all what life brings, as a result, u natually rejects the idea that sometimes things need to be set up, but only take in the things that comes out "natually". So you don even try hard to solve the thung but already gave up the chance. Besides, it seems totally fine for you to having meaningless dialogues. As for you, talk is just a way of get connected between lovers, no query at all, of course don need to make up something to talk if chemistry's right.
If that's true, I just move on  a new thing ,wondering whether our chemistry 's gone or ... 
Or we just simpliy need to see the therapy even if we are unmarried as bf and gf? Trust me, that type of thoughts' kill.

But it doesn't happen everytime, I do have some pleasant conversations or online chats, it seems like I ve no prb to continue a topic, as long as the both parties r interested in presenting the idea on our minds.

After saying all those above, I m kinda of losing the point,
What's the hell of the problem between you and me When love or is obviously excluding from query lists ?

God, I need some expert help!

I guess my best of interest now is go nameless. but I m already nameless on this blog, ain't I ?

I ALWAYS Act irrational when I get angry, still i don know where the anger is caused from, or i don exactly know.
maybe from some lousy going and going bass box?


Just pretty hard to believe that sometimes even thinking about how ppl will react on the words will make me feel panic.
I m kinda of Psyco, in this sense, am II?

well, Why should I care about how others' think, it is not even their business.
how could I just not think?

Nameless might be the most easiest way to iron the pain , not even causing panic or anything emotional. 
It just works perfect for me.

Why the way of drawing attention out of self-consciousness also put me into a state of panic and don-know-how-to-act-on?
That's the question bothers me from time to time since long time ago.
When will be an end of  this type of panic.
Hope not too long to know

天灾之下，遭难者众，幸存者何如？

I don know how to express my emotion at the moment, overwhelm.
all the explanatioin could easily lead to a misleading presentation.

However I am not the one who is directly affected,  as a stander-by I would never feel and think the same way as the displaced people would do.
what I concerns most might be rare close to the way who suffered would.